As a young girl I grew up as most young girls do, idolizing their fathers. To me, my Dad was the strongest, tallest, bravest man alive. I would argue this point to my death if anyone tried to tell me differently. In reality, my Dad is on the shorter side of average, and although he is quite physically fit (being a police officer, this is pretty much mandatory), he is no Chuck Liddell (sorry Dad). I am still convinced he is the bravest man alive, as not only does he protect me, and my family loyally, he also protects the city of Vancouver and it's citizens from the crime and scum that roam the streets.
As I grew and matured into a teenager (although my parents would probably argue that my maturity and 'street smarts' significantly declined during my teens), I fell in love with the typical Hollywood "man." Toned and tanned; tall, and handsome. Husky, dark eyes that you could get lost in; better known as Paul Walker (who I STILL have a massive celebrity crush on). I had finally developed an interest in the opposite sex - before high school I was convinced I would never marry, and simply adopt children if I felt the need to be a mother - and began to date.
At 16, my checklist of requirements for a boyfriend was really quite short, and quite superficial. Boys were graded based on their outward appearance, and really their insides (aka personality, morals, goals and dreams) came second, as a sort of bonus.
I dated a handful of boys throughout my high school years; some of them were absolute trash, while others I thought I did quite well with.
When I moved away from home to attend University, I began to wonder what I was accomplishing with these relationships. Where were they going? How would they fit into my future dreams and plans?
It was then that I began to realize that looks and muscles could only get you so far. A tanned, chiseled 6-pack looks great (and feel amazing too), but wouldn't provide me with the love and dedication my parents made sure I knew I was worthy of.
I was 18 when I decided that 'boys' were a waste of my time. The only person worth spending my time and effort on building a relationship was a real man; although the only man I knew was my father. What defines a man? I was lost for an answer...
Instead, I turned all my efforts to my studies and my social life (6-pack abs were replaced my 6-packs of Lucky Lager - hey, I was a girl on a budget) and left the opposite sex out of the picture.
Naturally, when I wanted it the least, a man walked into my life. One that made me question what the hell I had been doing wasting my time in my past relationships. One that made me question myself, who I was, and if I liked what I was becoming.
A man that was not afraid of my flaws, rather, he embraced them with open arms and shared his own. Who had such strong family ties, that the unfamiliarity of it frightened me. A man who put his heart on the line for me, expecting nothing in return.
Needless to say, I fell madly in love with this man; and for once, what first stole my heart away was his mind and soul (although ladies, let me tell you, I got a pretty sweet package deal - tall, dark, and handsome with a body to boot. Jackpot).
I knew that this time it was different. Everything came so naturally with him; he brought out the best in me, qualities I didn't even know I possessed. When I was near him I wanted to be a better person. I embraced his deep devotion to his family and wanted this for myself. I was motivated to repair damaged relationships in my life, and to right my past wrongs.
Although life threw many hurdles in our way, I knew there was nothing I would not do for him.
As I sit back and think about this man, who I now lovingly call my husband, I count my many blessings. Now that we have brought a child into this world, this man's qualities and strengths run even deeper than I even thought possible. Not only does he change his fair share of diapers, he also happily chats to our daughter as he does so. He only missed one prenatal appointment, and openly asked his own questions of the Doctor, showing how much he cared about the health of me and the baby. He still looks at me with love in his eyes, even after witnessing me at my weakest, most vulnerable moments during labour; not to mention after watching the birth of our child - and let's be honest, as 'beautiful' as the birth of a child is, it can be emotionally damaging to all witnesses. He eagerly takes over 'baby duty' when Brooklyn is gassy and just needs to be walked up and down the hallways. I believe I can now say I know how to define a man:
A man is someone who takes you for who you are, and does not want to change you. He loves you on your good days, but more importantly, on your bad ones. He is there for you through any and all emotional setbacks in life, despite how relevant they are in the 'big picture.'
A man is able to bring out the best in you, and shine light on your strengths as opposed to your weaknesses. A man is someone you can bear your heart and soul to, without having to worry about him abusing that intimacy. A man is someone you can trust, always and forever.
Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for blessing me with this amazing person in my life, my soul mate. He is my rock, the foundation for which I am able to build myself from. He is the father of my baby and I couldn't think of a person more worthy of that title.
So ladies, it is with my deepest regrets that I extend my apologies. I have found the perfect man and sunk my hooks deep into him. I really don't think there is anyone out there like him, so you'll have to settle for a little less than perfect. Perfection has been achieved, and he is mine, all mine.
I love you Chris; more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
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